"My joy was as exceeding as was my pain..."

I can see! I should have written sooner, but I have been in such awe of life that I have not made time to write on this blog. I have been looking at and reading anything I can; books, labels, road signs, tags, and quilts!

About two weeks ago I went in for my regularly scheduled appt. to the Dr. He decided to not remove sutures for awhile, but give me the gift of sight as I heal. I have glasses, and a very strange prescription. In fact, on the prescription, the Dr. wrote, "This is not a joke." to the lab technicians who would prepare the glasses. My right eye sees things tall and skinny. My left eye sees this wide and fat, completely opposite of each other. So, it took awhile for both of my eyes to adjust and work together, but the perseverance paid off. I can see 20/30 in both eyes. I have not seen this well in years!

I do not know how long this prescription will be current. There are still seven sutures in my left eye, and nine in my right eye. Eventually, they will all need to come out, and as they are removed, my vision will change each time, thus needing new prescriptions. But for now, life is so good!

I am amazed at the things I have missed! Dirt and dust in my house, veins on a leaf, light and dark shadows in the trees, sparkles in the sidewalk. The other morning I was laying on the carpet in the sun reading my scriptures (I can read again!!!!) watching a tiny bug crawl up and down on the various strands of carpet fibers. I was fascinated and humbled to say the least.

How much I take things for granted. What an amazing blessing to have something restored to you that was lost! I know that all of your prayers have made a big difference in my life. I know that God is aware of all we have been through, and will continue to carry our family through this.

I am truly humbled by the ability to regain my vision. All though not perfect, and the process not yet finished, even to see for a day or two, just knowing vision is around the corner makes me cry. I have shed so many tears of joy over the last two weeks. I am so thankful to my surgeon, Dr. Mark Mifflin at Moran Eye Center in Salt Lake City. What a gift he has given me.

I would encourage all of us to take a moment and look at the things God has given us in our lives. They may not be perfect, be it our bodies, our health, our home, our economic situation, but so many people can and do have it much worse.

And for my sake, look. Look around you and focus on little things, like words, or nature, or ....even dirt on the floor, and say a prayer of thanksgiving that you are able to see it.

Life truly is good, and so worth living....

I am hoping to get back to work sometime soon...

(On a side note...)

I forgot to add that I had to quit my job at OU Children's Hospital in Oklahoma City. It was a very painful decision, and I shed many tears over it. I loved my job in pediatrics. I just was not safe to care for my patients. I will continue to have faith in my healing, that it will be perfect in time, and go back into nursing when I an safely able. In the mean time, I am enjoying the calm that I feel at home as I attend to my most important job as a mom and as a wife. It has been a traumatic six months, and I must use this time to rest up and enjoy the calm before the next storm hits....whatever and whenever that will be!

Update with removal

Hello. It has been awhile. I have been trying to heal...allthough difficult when you are a busy pesonality. I just returned from the Dr. on Tuesday night. He removed on average sixteen sutures from each eye. That leaves seven left in my left eye, and eight left in the right eye. My right eye can see a bit better, the left is about the same, but that should change in the next few weeks.

Oh! Guess what! I am published and didn't know about it until a facebooker emailed me some questions and pointed out the article to me. Hope you enjoy. Here is the link....

http://www.discoveryeye.org/news-and-events/newsletter.html

I will try to write more later. I just can't see well enough to get realy involved in a long letter. I can't do the spell check etc. and I am sure it looks a mess.

Miracles take time...and patience.

The holidays were great. It was very nice to get home after being gone for a month. The Dr. appt. before I left was great. I was given the OK to drive and also a note saying I can go back to work part time. I was excited to get back to normal.

I worked a two day shift just after getting back. I loved it! I so love being in the hospital. I don't know everything yet, but I love learning, and taking care of babies and children I worked with GREAT coworkers. I was excited to think about getting back into nursing.

Unfortunately my exciteent did not last. I came to realize that I was not safe to care for patients on my own, and had to terminate my contract at the Childnrens Hospital. I have shed many tears over this decision. I know it is what is best and safest for all involved, and I can be home with my children and focus on healing, bt I did so love taking care of sick children and their families. It made me feel like I was doing something worthwhile.

Now I will focus on doing worthwhile things in my own home again. My kids and husband have been withouut mom for awhile, so I will redouble my efforts to provide balance in our home while I heal.

I can see well when I put drops in my eyes, but the results are only for five minutes or so before the improved vision fades. My right eye is fair, I can make out big words if they are highly contrasted. The left eye still sees ghosting, but I have only one sutre that has been removed from it, so over time and continued suture removal, it should improve on the ghosting and vision.

My Dr. suggested I purchase some ove the counter glasses in different perscriptions to see if they help muy vision. I can't find a deffinate perscription that helps. So I am going without glasses for now.

My eyes having such improvement with drops led me to think the hot, dry air that is blowing through heating vents in my house and other buildings may be causing increased dryness. I am trying a humidifyer for increased moisture to see if that improves my vision.

I think overall, all is well. Dr. is happy with the progress, no sign of rejection, healling is doing fine. I am coming to realize that miracles sometimes take longer than one might want, but hope keeps me going. I am praying for increased patience.

Happy New Year