Post Cornea Transplant Update

It has been since the 9th for my second cornea transplant, and since September 23 for my first cornea transplant. I am going to report.

The first (left) eye is recovering well! I have had one suture removed, and with correction the Dr. can get me seeing 20/40 or so. I do not have correction on the left eye yet, in that contacts will slow the healing.

The second eye also is recovering well. I had a suture that was leaking fluid from the inside of the cornea, which was causing the pressure to be very low. I was taking drops to help with the pressure, and wore a non prescription soft lens over the top of the cornea to assist in closing off the leak. In a few days, that leak healed over, and I experienced extreme vertigo. This, looking back now, was probably the pressure in my eye increasing. At the one week post op appt. the pressure was quite high, but the Dr. was not alarmed. He prescribed two different eye drops to help with the pressure. Four days later, the pressure check was back to normal, and the soft lens was removed. This was bitter sweet. The soft lens was covering up a knot in one of the sutures, and now that it was exposed was causing it to rub the inside of my eyelid raw. Very painful. The drops I had to use on the raw skin burned and stung terribly. The Dr. said the skin would heal over the top of the knot in a bit and it would be better. It took about a week or so, and now the skin is nicely covering the knot, and the pain has decreased. It is blurry in the right eye, but I can read large words with high contrasting background.

So, I continue to try to be patient and keep my eyes closed as much as possible (which is VERY difficult with all of the pressure I put on myself to be healed NOW, not later.) I have had a hard time resting this last week with the holidays and being with my husband and children again. I try to sleep a lot, which I have found really helps. I get very tired, especially as I strain my eyes through the day to try to see. Also, growing new tissue does take effort on the body's part. I try to take a nap daily in the afternoon and give my eyes a rest. This also helps. The Dr. said that they eye lid closed over the eye acts as a natural protection and barrier, and the more it is closed the faster it will heal. I also try to constantly put preservative free liquid tear drops in my eye, and several times a day I put a nighttime over the counter ointment in my eye to help lubricate it. I have noticed when I DO NOT keep a great deal of lubrication on my eye, the mapping and results at my follow up appts. are not as positive.

What are my thoughts and feelings post surgery for any one considering transplant: Do one eye at a time and let the first transplant heal to the point of being able to see well out of it BEFORE doing surgery on the second eye. The reason I did the surgery so quickly was that I needed to get both surgeries on this years deductible, AND because I was able to take time off of my life. I have had help from my family and neighbors to drive me around, drive me to appts. and I was able to take a medical leave from my job at the hospital. I would NOT recommend doing both eyes quickly if you depend greatly on your eyes to do your job or function at 20/40 (which is legal driving sight). Get the first eye to the point of correction to at least 20/40 and able to drive/see out of one eye before considering the second eye.

I also would recommend resting as much as possible, which if you have a job may be difficult to do. The more the eye is closed, the faster it heals. Taking a medical leave for several weeks would be ideal.

This is the first week I have been able to really see well enough to read larger print with the left eye. It has been three months. The Dr. said it would be at least three months before the eye would be stable enough to put correction on the eye. Every time sutures are removed, the vision will change, and the correction will change. I now see why the healing process takes six months to a year.

In summary, if you must depend on your eyes (Ha! who doesn't!) one eye a year is what I would recommend. If you have people to take care of you and drive you (and CONSTANTLY remind you to rest and stop using your eyes, and stop reading your email, and stop quilting, and etc...(thanks everyone, and family, I love you! ) then you can do the eyes quicker, but, you may not be able to drive for a few months.

I better end now. My sister just called and asked what I was doing and when I planned on going to bed so I can rest my eyes :) that means I must be done for the night....(and no one knows I am up typing right now, so that will get me in trouble as soon as I post!) Please don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for ALL of you who want me to heal and do everything you can to help enable that. I truly am grateful. I love you. ash

My Personal Testimony and Declaration

Through continued obedience, prayer and scripture study I have come to know that Heavenly Father supports me and carries me through my trials. I have come to know as I submit myself unto Him, that I am His daughter, that I have great potential, even greater than I can comprehend and understand at this time. I know that through constant hard work, determination, perseverance, and positive thinking, trials are manageable when we include our Father and Savior in our experiences.
The scriptures are true. The Book of Mormon and Bible work together to testify of God’s purpose. They give me strength and peace as I read them. The words bring peace and love into our home. If we do not read our scriptures as a family consistently, there is contention and unkindness. The spirit of revelation can flow through scripture reading.
I know the prophet today and leaders of our church speak God’s words and through following them we will be safe during this troubled time of existence on the earth. I know that we need not fear if we stay close to their council. I know all the prophets from the beginning of time talked with God and gave instruction to his children to help them in life. I also believe that the prophet Joseph Smith restored Christ’s church in these latter days.
I know this is Jesus Christ’s true church on the earth and it truly was restored, because I have asked God, and the Holy Ghost has born witness to me. The teachings, ordinances and simplicity of the gospel make me happy. As I continue to follow these teachings and truths, they guide me safely back home to my Heavenly Father and this earthy life is joyful, wonderful, peaceful, full of purpose and rewarding.
I know we are to be a tool in God’s hands. He knows the worries, fears, pain and sorrow His children experience One favorite verse in the hymn book is, “Who am I to judge another when I walk imperfectly? In the quiet heart is hidden, sorrow that I cannot see.” (Lord, I Would Follow Thee). I have experienced this myself…sorrow that only I comprehend. It helps me to love others around me knowing I might be able to do or say something to lift another’s burden. I know that the Lord places us on the earth to help each other return back to live together with him.
I know that balance is a key to life. There is time for all things, but not often and the same time. The Lord will guide us and help us balance our priorities if we put Him first in all we do. I have found if I put Him first, the important things always get accomplished, and the unimportant tasks seem to fall away from the priority, stress and importance I previously placed upon them
I know who I am and where I am going in life. Life has and will continue to get rocky and difficult, but I know if I align myself with my Savior and Heavenly Father through prayer, obedience, scripture study, patience, faith, confidence, humility and positive thoughts about myself and others, I will get through my trials, learn from them what I need to learn and prepare for eternal life with Heavenly Father.

This is a portion of my testimony.

Day before my last cornea transplant

I was reading in the Ensign, a magazine that my church puts out monthly, and there was an article by Henry B. Eyring who quoted a scripture from Mosiah (4:20-22). It reads:

"And now, if God, who has created you, on whom you are dependant for you lives and for all that ye have and are, doth grant unto you whatsoever ye ask that is right, in faith, believing that ye shall receive, O then, how ye ought to impart of the substance that ye have one to another.

"And if ye judge the man who putteth up his petition to you for your substance that he perish not, and condemn him, how much more just will be your condemnation for withholding your substance, which doth not belong to you but to God, to whom also your life belongeth, and yet ye put up not petition nor repent of the thing which thou hast done.

The article also talks about how God knows our needs, and the needs of others, and depends upon us to fulfill others needs. We tend to respond more at Christmas time because we have the Spirit of Christ with us stronger at this time of year as we focus on his birth and life.

I was pondering these words. I have asked for many things in faith, more recently for my vision to be restored knowing that God will grant that unto me. I also thought about how I have told Him that I will be a tool in His hands with my restored vision. I realized that I don't have to be a tool when my vision is corrected, but I can be a tool now as I heal.

One of many ways I can be a tool, I realize through reading this scripture (and many others), is that I can serve others in my own way, even with limited vision, and allow others to serve me.

I can be positive, face the future with faith and encourage others to do the same, to see life with the glass "half full" instead of "half empty". My lack of vision tempts me to get discouraged and feel self pity. But as I count my blessings and have faith that all will work out in time (and exercise patience) I can be positive through this trial, and hopefully build others around me.

As this scripture states, I must impart my substance to others, which I try to do, and find great joy in doing. But I also realized that this scripture, if turned around in the opposite position, also applies to others serving me. As we serve others, we receive joy, and blessings, and feel God's Spirit close to us. How selfish of me to unconsciously just want that for myself, and not allow others to feel that same gift. By allowing others to serve and take care of me and my family right now, in this time of my trial, I allow others to feel the joy that comes from sacrifice and service. By my allowing others to serve me, I find joy in knowing they receive happiness and increased blessings and spirituality through their love and desire to sacrifice.

So, to sum up this long thought, there have been many who have wanted to be there for me, to help me and my family. At times, well, quite often, I have felt guilty, refused help, done things on my own, and tried to not inconvenience you as you have desired to be of service. Shame on me for refusing you and denying you the opportunity to grow and feel blessed. I will work on that going forward. I will allow others to help me, and I will accept these desires graciously and thankfully, knowing that I can not be the only one to receive blessings through my service to others, but allow those who desire to receive in service to me.

I go in tomorrow early morning to have my second cornea transplant. I will not be able to see tomorrow, and I do not know when I will receive correction for my left eye. I am not going to get down on myself or life. I am going to be strong and know that it is all in the name of progress. In time, I will see again, and this will allow me to have more compassion and understanding to those who struggle with this disease, with those who have lost their vision, and with those who feel that they inconvenience others through their times of trial and healing.

I love you all. Thank you for your kind words, love and prayers. They mean a great deal to me and give me strength.

My sister was very inspired and said to not think of tomorrow as the day I lose my sight, but the day that I start to see again, without all the pain, headaches, and stress of wearing my hard lenses over my distorted cornea. Thank you to her for putting my mind in the right focus.

Tomorrow I start again....and I have a bright, beautiful, and eventually clear vision future ahead.

Forgive my random thoughts and poor sentence structure. I am using my 20/60 right eye to type. I will try to post soon, but will be healing and do not know when I will be able to see well enough to type.

Transplant countdown

I am counting down the days to my last cornea transplant. I can only see blurry images out of my left eye, which received a transplant on September 23, and I see 20/60 out of my right eye with a hard contact lens. I am hoping to receive correction for my left eye next week with either select suture removal, and or glasses/contacts.

It has been discouraging the last few weeks not being able to see. I can't read for more than a few minutes without severe headaches. I get very tired relying upon my right eye to see everything. I have been told this is normal, and that in time I will be able to see. All though I am tempted to get down, I am trying to focus on what I do have instead of what I do not have. Many people have something worse than I do. I will have faith that all will be well, and try to be patient as i wait for my vision to return.

I am trying to find new things I can do so that my vision isn't so strained. I am going to try to listen to my nursing review DVDs from school so that I can try to maintain some of the knowledge I gained from school. I am also going to try to listen to my scriptures and to general conference talks on the Internet or CD, as well as uplifting music. I am going to try to prerecord some Discovery Health shows as well, and decrease my quilting and reading. TRY is emphasized here! My husband reminds me that the more I do now, the slower I heal. I really need to remember that. I am too much of a DO kind of person. I am not good at resting, I must be doing.

Many people have talked with me about prayers they are sending my way. Prayer makes a big difference. I sure have loved living in Oklahoma. Prayer here is just like eating. People do it daily. People are also very genuine about their faith and prayers. They say they will pray for me, do pray for me, and continue to pray for me....and I trust that! I know they are. I pray for a blessing upon all the people who pray for me.

Also there is a family this week who will lose someone dear to them. It may have happened, it may happen in the next few days. I can't help but thing about them this season. The family that will donate my cornea is very special to me. I pray for them that they will be comforted at this time of loss. I am so grateful for the willingness on their part to donate something that will change my life forever and make living possible. Say a prayer for the donor family as well.